Vidno... a Warrior for Life...

MD First sem Realizations...

2006-10-10T13:36:00.000+08:00

The First sem of my med life has been overly excruciating and amazingly fulfilling at the same time... I've learned and grown so much more in one sem than my whole four-year stint in BS Bio... Not to say that my Bio days taught me little, Rizal Hall has witnessed this naive young lad change into a grown man... but this man has to grow even more to heal other lives...

It has been just a few months and I now know that....

1. Red is not a medical term. If you don't want to see consultant to scream at you(a first year med student who has seen a patient for the first time) at the top of her lungs, remember red=erythematous...

2. In med, Three days of studying (if you're a fast reader) will be ok at most... two days is quite cutting it close... the night before... Good luck na lang sayo... gumaya ka pa sakin... hahahaha...

3. What was covered in one sem in pre-med, would take up a week in med... tapos exam na...

4. The upper classmen were right in telling us that "if you think you failed an exam, you probably did... if you think you aced it... you probably failed it as well"... they were right... =P

5. In doing physical exams, it's good to know what you're doing, but it's a WHOLE lot more impotant to SEEM like you know what you're doing...

6. There IS a time when you'd prefer flat chested females... Breast Physical exams...

7. Extracurriculars are a must... If the only thing yer doing is studying you'd either top the class and go crazy after a few years... not top the class and go crazy after even fewer years... or flunk an go crazy right then and there... get the drift?

8. Having two dance troupes means reahearsals EVERYNIGHT. Add that to Swim team training, and two more organizations... BS Extracurriculars ka na... di ka na med... sabi ko na nga ba di ako med...

9. Sleeping in class is not a sin... you can't hel....zzzzzzzz....z.z.z.z......z.z.z.......z.....

10. In a class of 150+ people...chances are you'd sometimes bump into someone, say hi and engage in a conversation with someone you don't even know who... you just know "uy classmate!"

11. Highlighting has evolved into a form of art with therapeutic effects... seeing your transes and notes highlighted gives you a sense of (false ?) fulfillment...

12. peeling dermatograph skin also has the same feeling...

13. when you're in UPCM, you will absolutely ABHOR suspensions of classes...

14. 6 hours of uninterupted sleep is such a blessing...

15. Reading is not studying...

I could just go on forever... but I dont have the time right now... I have to finish our groups powerpoint for Research proposal defense, I played tennis with Francis(master1), Dax(powerhouse) and Anthony(master2) earlier this morning, and I have UP Medrhythmics rehearsals later... I'll skip to the most important stuff...

>> Make your own life decisions... live the rest of your life being happy with what you do or be happy fulfilling another persons dream... make your choice...

>> Life sucks, bigtime... keep track of the small things that make you happy... for they will also keep you sane...

>> When you feel like everything is slipping away and all is lost, heed support from friends and family, they may help... but the only thing you really need is God... and you will have the strength to stand up and move on...

Med school... deal or NO deal!!!

2006-07-14T20:13:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha i just love that tag line =P

Med school is as it should be... TOXIC!

But amazingly... im loving it...

Reading volumes of textbooks everday... well weirdly enough does not bother me... I actually like reading med books...

Grabe so unlike the uber extracurricullar person i was way back in college! (pero im still uber extracurricular!)

I'm going to love med school... and no amount of load, stress and bad grades could ever change that!!!

uy... med student na pala ako... =P

2006-06-18T10:08:00.000+08:00

The first week of med school is over... and yet, it hasn't really been sinkin in my consciousness... med student na talaga ako...

It really is different... we're in a plenary hall... all 160 of us... with one proffessor... sanay pa naman ako na laging napapansin ng prof... hay... hehehehehe

Well for one thing, I really have to work on being an independent learner (naks! IDC really had an effect on me!)

Right now, I wanna be as said in the movie patch adams "the best goddamn doctor there ever will be!" more than I ever wanted before!

Also, dami kong new friends (at nagseselos ata ang old friends ko, pero joke lang naman yun) and being the extra friendly person i am... im enjoying the variety of personalities i am encountering... part of me hoping that I meet someone who would be able to finally understand me... pero partly... hindi na lang... sawa na ako masaktan pag iniwan ng kaibigan...

Before I become so melodramatic about this... I'm gonna stop here... I have a reaction paper ahead of me... and 96 pages of readings... all due tomorrow... hay.... =D

Med School here I come!!!

2006-04-08T10:33:00.000+08:00

Woohoo!!! Results are finally out! Im going to UP College of Medicine starting next sem! Yeah!!!

What's so cool about it is I get to go to med school with some of my closest friends at school! Sadly though, only a few of us got through...

The UPCM gets 120 students from all the applicants, and only 14 from UPM BS Biology batch 2006 got through...

But that's ok, I believe there's a reason for everything. I believe the friendships that we built in our four years as batchmates will go on even though we will be going on to different med schools.

Others will start working as well!!! At dahil mas mabilis kayong yayaman, sino kaya ang sasagot sa gastos ng reunions???.... hehehehehehe! =P

A few more weeks till graduation... still I don't really feel like I'm graduating... parang normal end lang ng sem... siguro kasi ayoko rin muna isipin na magkakahiwalay na kami ng ibang mga kaibigan ko... at mas madalang ko na makikita ang mga kaibigan ko from the lower batches...

Speaking of friends from the lower batches, congratulations to Jomz!!! wehehehe! I know there have been casualties after DPSM, but hey, life has to go on! Sa aking mga lil brothers and sisters sa B1OCK 2005, andito lang si kuya Rovi! Love ko yang mga yan! =D

Big Brother...

2006-03-29T18:47:00.000+08:00

If you're thinking Keanna, Zanjoe, Bianca or John Pratts... nope this isn't the entry for that...

This feeling has been haunting me for years. I've tried running away from it, shooing it of to some far place in my subconscious... I've even tried working at it... but so far, everything has failed...

No, this is not like the Rustom "I'm gay" thing... I tell you this isn't the big brother on TV...

This is about me...

My whole childhood, I didn't really feel like I had a big brother... at least not the kind of kuya I've been wishing for. We never did get along well... actually we never did get along, period. We were both so competetive, that's what I think the problem is. Things may be different now that we are able to see things at the same level, maturity so it seems.

But wounds do scar, and scars like these stay on for life...

When I remember how much angst i felt back then makes me want to be a kuya even more. Sabi ni kuya para daw makaganti ako. But no... that isn't it... I want a little brother so I can make him feel all the love a kuya can give.. something I never did feel... (kuya if you're reading this, it's too late now, and I don't really care anymore)

Alas, I never had a little brother, bunso na ako eh. Kaya I seem very caring towards my younger friends. Especially guy friends, because I know how hard it is for a guy to find someone who can accept you for who you are (especially in a very emo mode)... acceptance... ang hirap mahanap nito...

Nagkaroon na ako ng pseudo-lil brothers, pero nilayuan niya ako... Isa sa mga bagay na mahirap kapag lalaki. When you show care for another guy, bading ka na.

I had this "lil bro" in school. We weren't close at first, but when we got to know each other, adn started opening up, we found that we were looking for similar things, I always wanted to be a kuya while he always wanted to have a kuya... I thought everything was great, I had this lil brother I never had. But tsismis spread that we were gay and had this relationship... tapos malaman laman ko na lang na ang nagkalat ng tsismis was a common friend, parang best friend niya, tapos nagtampo dahil he was spending more time with me, that's why he started this rumor...

I was devestated to say the least... not so much about the rumor... but having my "lil brother" giving up on our friendship... at least he had the courage to tell me we can't be friends anymore because he's afraid of the rumors spreading even more... I thought my lil bro and I were looking at the brotherhood we had similarly... apparently not...

But that's ok. I've learned to get over it. The experience has left me cynical though... I know I can't be a big brother to anyone, I'll never be a big brother...

Thesis defense.... done! =)

2006-03-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

Whew! such a looooooooong day...

Hell week has never been as toxic as it is now. Partly it would be understandable, last hell week ko na to! And I'm so happy such a big hunk of work has finally ended... yep I'm finished with my thesis defense! woot!!! Great big deal of gratitude for my best bud Josef and Iya. Imagine, they went to my school (with my ID's hehehe) to watch my defense... grabe super appreciated moral support... sobrang mahal ko yang best bud ko! naks! =D

Hay.. all the hard work me and my thesis partner have done finally payed off! All the sleeples nights rummaging for related literature, endless hours of reading through a gazillion text finding one helpful idea... goodness... (in the words of Toni Gonzaga, "kamusta naman mga housemates?! =P)

Well, I'm still a bit far from graduating, still have to finish Histology and Parasitology, but I'm hoping that there'll be no complications on finishing my last subjects... (Kamusta naman?! hehe the line is addicting i tell you!!! =P)

Well... if you're like me with chronic tamaritis (tamad-ritis =P)... sem ender stuff (eg. completion of manuals) are... well... exciting to say the least. hehehehe =P

No sense here eh? hehehe Toxicity has this effect on me... but hey... Everything will be ok... sooner or later (Batch outing, best bud day or graduation, whichever comes first) =D

Superstar!... well not quite... =D

2006-03-19T10:50:00.000+08:00

Showbiz dreams!!!

Well, I admit, I want to enter showbiz!

I've experienced auditions, VTR's, workshops, all that!!

Well i feel it has payed off, see me on MY MYX and MYX Firsts! hehehe

Still I wish I could have more rakets hehehe

Well, as of the moment I don't have an agent... a manager... or whatever they call it..

well, no problem dreaming right? =)

Back to blogging!

2006-03-19T10:05:00.000+08:00

It's been a super loooooooooong time since i've posted anything...

Partly because my last year in college is really busy...
Partly because I haven't had the time to blog...

But never because not much has been happening..

As per my previous post, my best bud and I have been talking about stuff, and I feel that we have never been as close. Sometimes I still feel that we're not completely open with each other (we both know we're not showy with emotions at times) but as a friend once told me, best friends doesn't mean that the other person will know everything about you. I'm very thankful that I have my best bud always here for me. Thanks bud!

Down to the last month of college life... and in my final days here, I feel so happy to have achieved much more than I have done in the first 3 years! I have brought honor to my school in two intercollegiate pre-medicine quiz shows (where our teams got all the n top places; where n=number of teams from UPM Biology =) ) and also, got invited into the Pi Gamma Mu International Honor Society for Social Sciences and the Phi Kappa Phi International Honor Society who invites only the top 10% of the graduating students from the premiere state university, the University of the Philippines. To have received such honors is a blessing by itself. Yet what makes me so much happier and more accomplished is seeing my parents so proud of everything i have achieved. They know that everything I do, it's always for God and for them. It's the least i can give to them in return for everything they have given me...

I'm one of those who will graduate as cum laude... the first in my family to achieve this... IF nothing goes wrong in this last semester. I hope everything will be ok...

Thesis defense on wednesday. I feel prepared. I hope everything will turn out OK. I invited my best bud over to our school to support me on this day, with him there, it will be OK.

By the way, I have a new term in my vocabulary:

Med School jitters
1. n. the feeling of anxiety for the results even though one knows he has good grades, high NMAT results and a good interview.
2 n. unconscious flow of all conversations towards the med scchool result.

Hehehehe, I wouldn't make such a good dictionary author, I KNOW!!! =P

Most people who apply for anything feel this... I do... Part of me knows, "hey you are one of the better people in your batch, things'll turn out ok, even your friends sa so!" still the thought of people making a decision that may very well be a major turning point of my LIFE!

as my dad would say, I have done what I can, now is the time to Pray...

Missing my bestfriend...

2005-02-16T21:23:00.000+08:00

Is bestfriendship supposed to be a mutual relationship... i wonder...

For years, I have never reached a conclusion to that query... and I believe I will continue to ponder about it for more years to come...

At times I believe it is unneccesary to achieve mutuality in such a relationship... for when you care about a friend so much, it won't matter if he returns the feeling of being cared for... For true friendship should take its roots from unconditional, platonic love...

But asking for perfection from a quite imperfect world, as the carpenter's song says, is plain foolish... Consider finding yourself caring for another person for the longest time... and feel neglected everytime you'd need someone to be with... be unappreciated for what you do... As pathetic as it may sound... just hurts so much...

For years, i built myself on the motto: "If your relationship is just one-way, then you must give twice as much to the relationship to make it last." How pathetic... but it seemed to make sense... but i found a better motto in a comic strip: "To keep a friend, you must learn to keep an eye shut... to keep a best friend, keep both eyes closed..."

It was very hard for me to let go of my bestfriend, eventhough I was never really his bestfriend (in the context of what a bestfriend is), mahirap... I'd just find myself still wondering how he is, and just hurt myself when I realize he doesn't seem to care... I just tell myself "hey, you survived for years without one... you don't need a bestfriend! Why bother?"

but still...

AStIg!!!

2005-01-29T20:33:00.000+08:00

We (UPM Streetdance corps.) danced yesterday sa game ng Ginebra at San Miguel! Astig!

We had our own locker room, right next to San Miguel's. Nakakatawa, nagsstretching kami, biglang pumasok si Hontiveros, sabay sabi ng, pwedeng pakiss? Bwahahahaha!

The dome was full, the air was full of energy, and every single one of the competing tem was just so excited. The organizers made mistakes in organizing the event leading to only one day of emergency practice before the day itself, we were a bit nervous for the fact that we haven't practiced with music, not even once. We were relying on the fact that we have danced the song long enough to know when and what to do, even if we had major changes to the routine.

As we prepared ourselves on the floor, we were just overflowing with energy! The crowd was wild! We have heard before that the Indayog didn't do so well with their rendition of Burn(Not my opinion, the Don Bosco organizers said so), so we really we're pumped up to do our best. As we danced, the crowd went wild! It was so fulfilling! Some people said:" Uy, tingnan mo yung sumayaw ng burn, ang laki ng improvement nila!" thinking we were the Indayog as well. Ang sarap ng feeling..

People are usually confused, because we are the only school with two representatives to the Jig competition, usually schools just send one. Jig is really coming near, and we only have one week to finish everything up. As we say, It's all about passion... and because of this passion, we hope to give our very best hoping we bring UP Manila recognition... LET'S GO UP MANILA STREETDANCE CORPS!!!

A Storm of Emotions

2005-01-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

A lot has been happening... I have never before experienced a whirlwind of emotions rushing ever so violently...

Emotional outbursts were never new to me. I've been known to possess the ability to be supercalifragelistically happy to someone in a greek tragedy in a jiffy. But lately I have experienced several, almost simultaeneous events that are messing up my mind, my limbic system to be exact, of how to react, what aura should be emanating from me, how I want people to see me...

The Audition
I have a dream that people may see as wasting my time... I want to be a star...

(Not a ball of hot gas though, connotatively or denotatively.)

I went to audition... My very first studio audition... I never imagined how it was going to be till I was there. After hours of waiting in line, I got on stage...

"Hi! I'm Rovi, 19 years old and I'm going to sing "The Warrior is a child" ...."

And Audie Gemora told me "Rovi, We're really rooting for you because you really fit the image we are looking for (the camera loves me, they say, I don't look thin at all...) but you sometimes skip keys... I'm really sorry... sayang..."

I was crushed, but nevertheless, I exited with my head up, smiling. I never let people see me sad... But my hear was crushed... But I told myself "quitters never win, and winners never quit" Nothing of this kind would be enough to make me let my dreams just fly away...

(I'm going to be enrolling in a summer workshop in ABSCBN, I'm not sure if singing, acting or theater, but one of those... and I'm going to do what I can to show the world I can do it!)

The Exam
I love getting high grades, who doesn't? If possible, the highest. I used to, back in the first year. But not so often nowadays. Let's just say I've lost my incessant determination. I'm still determined to graduate with honors... I'm just not THAT determined to get highest marks anymore.... Partly because I'm not able to do so anymore... I don't like expecting achievements... sour-grape... hehehe...

I love Genetics. I've loved it ever since. And I've had lots of fun in class... eventhough subconscious learning is a big part of it! =P

It was 8pm... I'm still in the SSWC... burning my mind and body to memorize the steps for our competition in the streetdance corps... My lab exam is tomorrow... I thought... and I haven't started reading even a page... damn... I reached home... without an ounce of energy left.. i ate my dinner, headed for bed and rested my tired and aching body...

I crammed last bits of information in the morning... and took the exam.. I know I did what I can... but I wasn't sure of all my answers... people were giving different solutions after he exams... and most was making sense... I thought "whatthe! I didn't study, why think about it!"

But when results came... I got the only perfect score in class.... WHOA.... me?! I was so happy... days of attentive listening payed off... I was so thankful to Him... He let me get the rest I needed and gave me the energy in the morning... ah... life has it's pleasures... and downfalls, as I have been expecting...

The Competition (practices!)
Being a president of an organization is no joke! A performing arts org, even so! Competition is nearing... the first ever we're joining outside of campus... and it's a big one...

A very big pain that is! The mind-wrecking job of looking for funds, coordinating people, and learning the dance routine! I'm just so very lucky I have very responsible co-execom people behind me! But still... Everything is just getting on my nerves! The very tiring practices really gets to you. But I'm happy, everyone in the competing tem has been working very VERY hard every practice session. And our coach Maui has helped us so much. We have less than two weeks... but I'm very proud of our group... I hope we will be able to do our best... that at the very least... and everything is up to Him...

My "Bestfriend"
We're on rocky terms right now... For reasons that only we should know... and only we would really understand... I Don't really know what would be the best... or if my course of action was correct... I'm just praying for what would be best for us... But still... I miss my best bud...

The NMAT
I GOT 99+! nuff said! I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grabe... I don't know how to react to everything that's happening right now... But till i know... all you're gonna see is the normal, bubbly, fun, smiling me... =)

Blog?

2005-01-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

For years in the past I've wondered, "what's a blog?" Stupid as it may seem, I really did not know what i was. I hardly knew at the time what cookies were besides the food item, spam was processed meat and spammers were factory workers (don't look at me, it made sense at the time!)

Then as I entered college the techie side of me arised (a teeny bit, at least enough to know what a blog is!) As you can see, I haven't touched my blog for months of activating it... the only reason was i didn't know how to... I still don't, I'm too lazy to read about it, I'm just playing with tabs and buttons!

No fancy designs here... not interested in that. I'm after the "diary" side of a blog. Where my thought and my words are what's important... no colorful backdrops... no bandwidth-consuming pictures and effects... just my words... and me...